


Who are We to Fight Ourselves in Other People's Beds

by LadyLade



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-18 15:08:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4710407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLade/pseuds/LadyLade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kate was always going to end up broken, because Kate breaks herself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who are We to Fight Ourselves in Other People's Beds

**Author's Note:**

> The dub-con warning is because Derek is underage, Kate is manipulating him with a relationship/sex, and because Kate doesn't actually want to be in a relationship/have sex with Derek. Kate is explicitly psychologically harmed by what she is doing, which may be triggering to some people.

_You can do this_ , Kate tells herself. She can do this.

“Hi there, sweetie,” Kate says, and she smiles.

Derek Hale blinks at her, something wary flitting across his expression. For a moment, Kate thinks she’s blown this before it’s even started.

Then—then Derek Hale smiles back, bright and genuine.

>>> 

Most people’s coming-of-age is a bender out on the town the night they turn twenty-one.

Kate’s coming-of-age is a hunt, by herself, when she’s twenty-two.

Kate’s never been fond of the status quo, anyway.

>>> 

Derek is quiet; not a shy quiet, but an I-don’t-feel-the-need-to-talk quiet. Despite being a pack animal, he likes solitude. He likes cats, even though they hate him. He visits the pet shop at least twice a week so that he can teach the African Grey parrots how to whistle, ask for food, and call old ladies “ma’am.” He’s uncomfortable in large groups, but he’ll do anything for funnel cake and that includes braving the summer fair. He’s smart and careful and beautiful, and the kind of guy Kate would go for if it wasn’t for the whole monster thing.

Because that’s what Derek is: A monster.

_A wolf in human clothing_ , Kate reminds herself when Derek says she’s gorgeous. There’s nothing to get attached to, because everything Derek is, is an illusion.

>>> 

The first time they kiss, Derek has just walked Kate back to her apartment and is saying goodnight. Kate tenses when Derek tries to deepen the kiss, nausea squirming up her stomach to her throat.

“What’s wrong?” Derek pulls back instantly.

“Nothing,” Kate smiles weakly, plays it slightly meek and vulnerable. “I haven’t done this for a while.”

She spins the story of a bad break-up, of an ex who was a jackass, and how she hasn’t felt comfortable dating until now, until Derek.

When she finishes, Derek smiles at her, small and closed-lipped, and says, “Thank you for trusting me.”

She says goodnight and goes inside before she can panic. She’s doing this because Dad will finally be proud of her. She’s doing this because it’s the right thing to do.

She doesn’t sleep that night, Derek saying, “Thank you for trusting me” playing on a loop over and over and over, looking so young and so innocent.

_It’s the right thing to do_ , she thinks.

>>> 

Derek hasn’t mentioned Kate meeting his family, although he talks about them more and more, and Kate isn’t going to do anything _like_ pushing, in regards to that issue. She can smudge truths and stick to grey areas with Derek; an entire pack would catch any slip she made, and then they’d rip her apart.

>>> 

“I love you,” Derek whispers one night, his head resting on her stomach as they’re curled up on her couch watching tv.

Kate’s fingers don’t stop massaging his scalp, don’t even tremble.

“I love you too,” she says, and tells herself the tightness in her chest is triumph.

>>> 

Derek and Kate have sex. Derek and Kate have _good_ sex, which helps her cover but which also erodes something in her every time she feels a jolt of pleasure. She spends the whole time wishing that Derek would just show what he really is, so that Kate could put him down and be done with it.

Afterwards, Derek leaves her with a soft kiss and a softer “I love you.” Afterwards, Kate scrubs herself raw in the shower and can’t get past feeling like Derek has cored her, like she’s lost her heart and maybe a lung and a few feet of intestines. She doesn’t feel _right_ , and she can’t avoid it and she can’t pretend it’s a different feeling; she can’t even deny the feeling. She would burn the entire world to make this feeling go away.

_This is Derek’s fault_ , Kate thinks. This happened because Derek is too good at pretending to be human. He’s a mockingbird in the early dawn hours, tricking everyone into thinking it’s a sparrow or a starling or a cardinal making all that racket outside their bedroom window.

Derek’s even more of a monster than Kate realized.

>>> 

“We always gather for Halloween,” Derek says, “it’s a family tradition. It’s a sin not to love Halloween in my family.”

_Finally_ , Kate thinks.

>>> 

Kate doesn’t burn down the house herself. She wants to—she wants to hear those fucking monsters screaming in pain, but it’s not safe. She talks to an alcoholic chemistry teacher, gets a couple of losers to do the actual job.

If she plans it for when Derek’s at school, well, no plan is perfect.

>>> 

When she sees the house burning on the news, two states away, the feeling she gets should be relief. It isn’t.

>>> 

“Is it done?” Dad says.

“It’s done,” Kate says.

“And you got everyone?” Dad says.

“No,” Kate says, “there are two left alive, and one burned into a coma. But their pack is dead—they’ll make a mistake and we’ll hunt them down.”

“Good,” says Dad, “I’m proud of you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Ellie Goulding's _This Love (Will Be Your Downfall)_.


End file.
